I know reality's gonna bite me someday.... but so soon? I'm not even done lapping up all I can T_T Been feeling queasy in the gut for a few days now.... twice in 3 weeks I think... this ain't good, I eat everything under the sun so this shouldn't be an issue.... lols.... and I've actually been here before.... I can take all this, but do I want to? After all said and done, yes I do.... I ain't here by accident, I'm here cos I wanted to be here..... Won't be goin anywhere in a hurry....
Thing is, I'm not good with all this.... experience counts for nothing.... it's always different.... And I know deep down inside, it's something that concerns everyone.... but I know the facts, I live with it.... so don't make any preconceived notions about mortality when I am the one who has the facts..... I'm more than happy to banish those notions given a chance or an enquiry.... but trust me, it's not always easy to just smile and be the butt of jokes..... I have always smiled and put up a straight face when I get grief.... and you should see how some people's eyes just pop out when they find out.... I can shut up and hide it, why can't I? But no, it is my responsibility to let ppl know.... even though the responses range from ludicruous to downright absurd....
23 years.... I'm still here.... I don't abuse my body the way a lot of ppl do.... and I think I take care of myself just fine.... I did not ask for it.... neither did my parents.... but these things happen, they just do.... Mum goes the extra mile just to make sure I don't feel ostracised.... but sometimes I do feel it... All I can say is, ppl only care about things that affect them.... so boo hoo... if they are not the victims, they can't see it from a victim's perch.... not that I'm calling myself a victim..... I'm lucky to be alive today.... I still think I am.... and that is testament foremostly to God and the fact that He gave me a system that can fight.... I expect even more to come down this path.... but I'll be ready for it.... When the time comes, I'll step up....
currently listening to : Not Meant To Be by Theory of A Deadman
Posted at 01:29 am by jason_mufc
